Blessed (An Oldie but a Goodie)

It is that time of year again! Time to put my teacher hat back on and get to work. Lucky for me work is teaching dance to the best group of children in one of the best settings I could ever imagine. But it wasn't easy.

For those of you who don't know the story...well here goes.

I attended and graduated from USF Tampa and became a teacher in 2006. Everything was great, college was enjoyable, and my final internship was so successful that I had two job offers for the following school year. Perfect right? Well not exactly. The problem? I have always loved dancing but I went to school to be a history teacher. Crazy right? What in the world was I thinking. As I was completing my internship and getting ready to sign a teaching contract I had the horrible feeling that I would end up hating my job and quitting. Little did I know that was not even going to be a problem.

Well as my fellow teachers and friends of teachers know; after you finish school you still have to take a few certification exams to be completely done and ready to accept a job. Well can you believe I breezed through all of my certification exams except the history portion?!? Yup that's right I missed the "pass" score by just a few points and therefore could not accept the job(s) that were offered to me. For the next school year I worked as a substitute teacher and a tutor at Sylvan Learning Center. I felt like a complete failure. I am such a people pleaser that it nearly killed me to have to explain why I could not accept any of the positions being offered to me. I cried quite often during that year, needless to say, and did the whole pity party "why me" bla bla bla (mostly the pity party existed in my head as I put on a brave face to the world around me) Then one day my grandmother said something I had heard a million times before but had never had a more "real" moment to apply it to my life. She said "Sally, those doors are closed and you didn't pass that test for a reason. There is something better coming just wait. Have faith." That changed my perspective and at night when the pity party in my mind usually took over I decided to do something a little different. Rather than giving in and curling into a ball and sobbing I prayed. Like for real for real prayed. (I grew up going to church and always prayed and had faith but there was something so different about my prayer during that difficult time in my life.) Rather than praying for stuff or reciting a memorized prayer, it changed to something like this "God I want your will to be done in my life. Whatever you have planned for me is what I want, because your plan and your dream is way better than anything I could ever dream of." I said those words every night for months. Then I re-took the exam 2-3 more times before I passed it and was ready to accept any job offer from there on out. (Yes 2-3 more times I actually lost count. It was awful and very discouraging but I know now it is because I was trying to open a door that God didn't want me walking through)

 Fast forward to "The Great Teach-In" a teacher recruitment day at the Tampa Convention Center. I arrived resume and portfolio in hand, sample lesson plans you name it I was ready. I was ready and so were about 500 other graduates looking for jobs. Literally the line of people was endless. By the time I checked-in and made it to the main floor there were already principals and recruiters stating that they were full and could no longer accept applicants. I did not lose faith however. In that moment I told myself that if I was supposed to find a job it would still be there despite the huge number of people. I walked around and walked some more until I saw a booth for a Charter School that was looking for a Dance teacher. They must have just decided they wanted a dance teacher because the word dance had been added in marker! Something told me just to ask. So I walked up to the man at the booth (that I thought was just working the booth) and introduced myself and explained that I was a certified classroom teacher but had years of dance experience and that dancing was my true passion. He asked me if I had any experience teaching reading because he would need me to teach reading in the morning and dance for the remainder of the school day. Well guess what I had been teaching at Sylvan the entire time that I couldn't pass that test? That's right reading. I confidently told him that I specialized in reading at Sylvan and would be happy to teach reading as well as dance. He asked me to meet him a few hours later for a formal interview. The person I thought was just representing the school at the booth was actually the schools principal. A few hours later interviews began. I interviewed with him things went great and he asked me to drive out to the school the following week to take a tour. Little did I know that after the tour he drew up a contract and I signed it right then and there. All the crying, all the why me, all the "Not Passed" scores on that ridiculous test...all added up to my DREAM job. If I had passed that exam I would have taken one of the two job offers, I would have taught for about 2-3 years and then quit teaching permanently. I know in my heart that I would have been miserable. More miserable than the sadness I felt when I didn't pass the test. Now I am beginning my 9th year as the Dance teacher and couldn't be happier. I feel as excited now as I did the day I got hired. I wake up in the morning happy and grateful for my amazing job.

As difficult as it is for me to share this story of me "failing" over and over, I happily share it because I hope it can/will help you to see that sometimes you are forcing something to happen in your life that isn't meant to be. Like there is a major roadblock and you are being so stubborn and still trying to get through it even though it's there so you can walk around it to where you should really be. The roadblock isn't there so that you will quit, it is there because you need to take another route to get back on Gods path for your life.

Thanks for reading! I am Sally and this is Where I Find Myself. #grateful #let Gods will be done

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Would love to read your comments.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv-SXz_exKE

A Mother's Strength

 My mother is the best person I know.

There is not enough space on this page for me to express to you how amazing my mother is. So for that reason alone I will not try and prove to you what I know to be true in my heart. I will not fill this page with examples in an effort to persuade you as to how awesome she is. I simply ask you to take my word for it.  :)

 With that settled I am writing this post today to talk about my mom and how amazing she is for taking care of my grandfather. For those of you who know me personally you understand how close I am with my family, and that really begins with the "glue" that is my mom. My grandfather has lived with my mother for nearly 20 years now. He was always a strong man accustomed to doing things for himself. As he became older the normal things occurred- his walking slowed, his sleeping increased etc. All in all he was fine.

  Cut to a few short months ago. Out of nowhere my grandfather took a complete turn for the worst. The culprit- Dementia. The accomplice- a series of mini-strokes that we didn't know he was having.

 Those things lead my grandfather to not be able to take care of himself in any sense of the word. My mother had to feed him, clothe him, shave him ...you get the idea. And she did it all 99% of the time completely by herself. While still working a full-time job. While still maintaining a positive attitude and a smile on her face. As you can imagine even with the most love in your heart, and with the greatest intentions and effort after a while of doing so much by yourself something just has to give. It was with a heavy heart that my mother decided to seek help. After all, that is why we have insurance right? (Sorry inside joke- insurance should be a whole different blog post- that I won't write because I may be forced to use profanity) Well thankfully after all insurance problems got straightened out and after my grandfather spent 5 weeks in the hospital (we were told it was only going to take 3 days) he is now settled into a nursing home that specializes in the terrible disease that is Dementia.

 He has good days and bad days. Some days I look at him and see my grandfather, other days I can tell he is not there. The good thing (if there is one) is that he cannot recall the "bad days". He has absolutely no idea that he has had any kind of bad day or aggressive behavior.

 I know there are other people out there with aging parents/grandparents. My advice is love them, take care of them and be there for them. My mom may not even realize how inspirational she has been throughout this time. She probably doesn't even realize the life lesson that she has taught me. But she certainly laid down the blueprint best example of how to be an awesome daughter.

 To the best mom in the world! Xoxo

I am Sally and this is "Where I Find Myself"

Why can't we cheer each other on?

Just yesterday I witnessed one of the best little dancers I know lose confidence in herself and feel so uncomfortable on the dance floor that she could not finish the routine we were practicing. A dance combination that I know she could have done in her sleep.

Why did this happen you might be wondering… well because one of her classmates chose to say something bad and give a horrible facial expression. To someone who doesn't work with children or doesn't have any young children in their lives this incident may seem minor. Maybe something not even worth mentioning. But as someone who works with children on a daily basis, I'm here to tell you that "moment" if not  addressed and corrected can be life altering.

Think for just a moment about your own life experience and I can almost guarantee that you can recall a moment when someone you know was shamed for being good at something. (Perhaps even you)

Why is that? It absolutely baffles me and saddens me that someone who has a talent be forced to "tone it down", keep it a secret, or worst of all actually be made to feel bad for their talent.

In what world should someone who practices daily, and takes the time to improve have to apologize for their hard work?

How do we change this culture of shaming? How do we get our kids to appreciate each other's talents and cheer each other on? How do we get them to see differences as just differences and not things that make you better or worse than someone else? And lastly how do we as adults not continue to do this very same thing to each other?

Thanks for reading! I would love to hear from you. Please comment and share.

 I'm Sally and this is Where I Find Myself.

Where I Find Myself- Self Doubt

Have you ever felt not good enough?

 That is a really difficult and humbling question to ask yourself ...or should I say a really difficult admission to make out loud to the world. Well I have felt it. I have felt it in my career, I have felt it in relationships and I have felt it in public situations just to name a few.

  I invite you to join me in the effort of letting this paralyzing often self inflicted feeling go. Perhaps a life long, day to day effort to let it go. Please join me and let go of that nagging, pestering, doubt filled piece of you. You know what I'm referring to, that voice that lives in your head, that voice that gets louder as you get more anxious. Truth is everyone has it, some of us are just better at disguising it and keeping it under wraps.

I invite you to follow me on twitter @SallyWIFM where I have posted a clip that I found to be very inspiring.

My name is Sally and this is Where I Find Myself.